Exhausted Caregivers During the Holidays Are Hidden Heroes

Caregivers often put their heart and soul into taking care of people whom they assist. During the holidays exhaustion and stress, "caregivers' syndrome," may be worse due to the extra rushing around. Preparing for festivities is fun, but it can be tiring. Recently I have had several caregivers speak to me about the added exhaustion and stress they feel at this time of the year.

I wish there was a special award to give to all the caregivers who do so much to make others lives better, and who often go without thanks and praise for all they do. Being a caregiver is very special. It's not a high status or high paying role, but in the world of nonmaterial things and goodness of heart it's at the top.

During the holidays it would be nice to go out of our way to tell caregivers they are special and wonderful. Caregivers who are on "stand by assist," meaning they cannot leave the person they assist alone, give up their own dreams, time for friends, and hobbies, because they care about others.

Isolated and sometimes forgotten, caregivers are the hidden heroes of the world today.

An Alzheimer's Family Caregiver Speaks on Isolation, Exhaustion and Stress

In honor of National Family Caregivers Month and National Alzheimer's Disease Awareness Month today's blog post is dedicated to family caregivers and people whose lives have been touched by Alzheimer's.

In the picture are two ladies whose story highlights this month's messages, and who represent so many others who are in similar circumstances.

Stella Carrasco, on the left in the picture, is a 63 year old family caregiver who is going through tests for a liver transplant. For the last four years she has been the sole caregiver for her mother, Mary Chaparro, 82, who has Alzheimer's. Stella gave permission for her story to be part of this blog, and she hopes it will help others to understand what a situation like hers is like. In the photo Stella and Mary are at a local Craft Fair, held today, displaying some of the beautiful items they create by hand at home.

There is no caregiver relief or support because Mary, due to the Alzheimer's symptoms, rejects the relief caregivers they've tried. "Mom has been so against it," Stella said. "She doesn't trust anybody, she's always thinking they are taking her money, then she hides, it, and accuses me of taking the money."

Stella is with her mom 24 hours a day because Mary cannot be left alone due to the Alzheimer's Disease. They tried having some outside help, but Stella explained the caregivers who came in were young and inexperienced, and did not understand Alzheimer's Disease or communication with someone who has it.

Stella explained, "What hurts me to no end is when she accuses me of taking her money. It brings me to tears." She said that when exhaustion and stress get to be too much she sleeps all day, but keeps the door to her room open in order to hear her mom and wake up if she is needed.

She said, "Being at the craft fair at the Central Coast Seniors Center today is the first real outing since 2003. On Sundays someone takes Mom to Mass and I can rest for awhile. Otherwise we are at home working on crafts. I don't have anybody I can really talk to. I don't have a social life. I am isolated."

Stella and I met when I was taking digitial photos of a Craft Fair and Bake Sale for the Central Coast Seniors Center site. She explained about her mother, and we sat down for a visit. Stella donated a beautiful handmade afghan for the raffle today. The exquisite heirloom quality handmade crafts that she and her mother make use many vintage items as decoration.

What can be done? The manager of the Central Coast Seniors Center, and a local church pastor, and I gave Stella our phone numbers and took her number. She won't be alone because we will call her, she can call us, and we will get together to visit. We are working on some ideas for some relief and support for Stella.

Betty Milne, the manager at the Central Coast Seniors Center, is checking the schedule to see when we can schedule a caregivers day out with lunch and a video on the large screen at the center. Stella said a humorous movie would help reduce stress. She will bring her mother to enjoy the movie too. We exchanged hugs, and I am so happy to have met such a dedicated caregiver and friend.

Additionally, we are getting into contact with the local Area Agency on Aging and the local Alzheimer's Association, as well as resources at San Luis Seniors. As we progress with support more updates will be available.

AARP Reports on Long Term Care Trends

A new report from the AARP says meeting the upcoming demands for workers in Long Term Care will be difficult without recruiting and retaining more workers. The report said that " low wages, low prestige and dangerous working conditions will have to improve to expand the number of workers who fill difficult tasks associated with LTC." At the website for the American Association of Retired Persons you can read their article titled Long Term Care Trends, Comparing Long Term Care in Germany and the United States: What Can We Learn From Each Other? The research paper is by Mary Jo Gibson, AARP Public Policy Institute, and Donald L. Redfoot, AARP Public Policy Institute.

The article said the United States has made progress in (1) shifting from institutions to home based care (2) "strong civil rights protections for people with disabilities, including protections against unnecessary institutionalization "(3) regulations and monitoring that has resulted in improvements in care quality and (4) innovation in areas such as assisted living.

In Germany progress has been made in (1) universal coverage based on disability not income, (2) consumer choice (3) support for family caregivers (4) relieving fiscal pressures on government while maintaining LTC spending similar to U.S. (5) and "developing uniform standards of quality."