Healthy Caregiving - A Minute of Tips

Guest Post from Life Coach Scott Couchenour - "Intentionally Blank"

Ever read a legal document and turn a page and all it has on the page is the phrase "This Space Left Intentionally Blank" centered on the page? I think I know why writers of legal documents do that. It got me thinking about caregiving.

What if, in the flow of caregiving, we were to designate certain times that are "intentionally blank"? These would be times when we unplug COMPLETELY from the world around us; times when we pull away from the caregiving and purposefully do nothing. If we do this we can greatly increase our capacity for perspective. We can re-energize. We can renew. Then, when the "blank time" is over, we can get back to the business of caregiving with a new sense of vision and excitement.

Are you doing this already? Great!

If you haven't considered "Intentionally Blank" times like this, start today. Think ahead. When is the next time you are going to unplug, pull away, and become intentionally blank?

From guest author, Scott Couchenour

Certified Life Coach

Founder of Serving Strong

©1997-2005 Openwave Systems Inc. All rights reserved.

Guest Post: ServingStrong.com 's Scott Couchenour, Certified Life Coach, on Self-Care for Those Who Serve Others

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was a young teenager. I was on my way home from my girlfriend's house. She lived about an hour away. I had seen the oil light come on at the dashboard days before. I just figured I would get more oil when I got the chance. Besides, the light would go out occasionally. So I thought I had more time.

But on my way home from my girlfriend's house that day, the light came on and stayed on. I was still 20 minutes from home. "I'll take care of it when I get home," I reasoned with myself (and unfortunately, self agreed.)

Then this terrible banging started. It was loud. It wouldn't stop. I drove home with the sound. It seemed to get worse as I accelerated. Long story short -- I blew the entire engine of my Honda Civic. The loud banging sound I heard was the engine tearing itself apart because there was no oil to absorb the friction between the moving parts within the engine casing. Hmmmm. Imagine that. (By the way, thanks to my Dad for bailing me out and helping me with the new engine.)
So what does this story have to do with taking care of ourselves as we serve others?

Oil = Self Care

Oil. It's the substance which absorbs friction of moving parts. It helps ensure long engine life. There are 2 things about oil that we need to remember: 1) It must be clean; 2) There must be enough of it. This requires periodically checking the quality and level - changing the oil when necessary.

Self Care. It's the activity which absorbs friction of serving others. It helps ensure a strong finish. There are 2 things about self care we need to remember:

1) It must be tailored to who you are;

2) There must be enough of it. This requires periodically checking the quality and frequency - making adjustments along the way when necessary.

So, how's your serving "engine"? Are you checking your "oil" frequently enough? What's the level? What's the quality? Or is your life too jam packed with activity that you're reasoning with yourself, saying, "I'll take care of myself when my schedule slows down." Be careful. You may tear yourself apart.

If we take care of self, self will Serve Strong!Scott Couchenour, Certified Life CoachPromoting Ministry Balancewww.servingstrong.com

An Alzheimer's Family Caregiver Speaks on Isolation, Exhaustion and Stress

In honor of National Family Caregivers Month and National Alzheimer's Disease Awareness Month today's blog post is dedicated to family caregivers and people whose lives have been touched by Alzheimer's.

In the picture are two ladies whose story highlights this month's messages, and who represent so many others who are in similar circumstances.

Stella Carrasco, on the left in the picture, is a 63 year old family caregiver who is going through tests for a liver transplant. For the last four years she has been the sole caregiver for her mother, Mary Chaparro, 82, who has Alzheimer's. Stella gave permission for her story to be part of this blog, and she hopes it will help others to understand what a situation like hers is like. In the photo Stella and Mary are at a local Craft Fair, held today, displaying some of the beautiful items they create by hand at home.

There is no caregiver relief or support because Mary, due to the Alzheimer's symptoms, rejects the relief caregivers they've tried. "Mom has been so against it," Stella said. "She doesn't trust anybody, she's always thinking they are taking her money, then she hides, it, and accuses me of taking the money."

Stella is with her mom 24 hours a day because Mary cannot be left alone due to the Alzheimer's Disease. They tried having some outside help, but Stella explained the caregivers who came in were young and inexperienced, and did not understand Alzheimer's Disease or communication with someone who has it.

Stella explained, "What hurts me to no end is when she accuses me of taking her money. It brings me to tears." She said that when exhaustion and stress get to be too much she sleeps all day, but keeps the door to her room open in order to hear her mom and wake up if she is needed.

She said, "Being at the craft fair at the Central Coast Seniors Center today is the first real outing since 2003. On Sundays someone takes Mom to Mass and I can rest for awhile. Otherwise we are at home working on crafts. I don't have anybody I can really talk to. I don't have a social life. I am isolated."

Stella and I met when I was taking digitial photos of a Craft Fair and Bake Sale for the Central Coast Seniors Center site. She explained about her mother, and we sat down for a visit. Stella donated a beautiful handmade afghan for the raffle today. The exquisite heirloom quality handmade crafts that she and her mother make use many vintage items as decoration.

What can be done? The manager of the Central Coast Seniors Center, and a local church pastor, and I gave Stella our phone numbers and took her number. She won't be alone because we will call her, she can call us, and we will get together to visit. We are working on some ideas for some relief and support for Stella.

Betty Milne, the manager at the Central Coast Seniors Center, is checking the schedule to see when we can schedule a caregivers day out with lunch and a video on the large screen at the center. Stella said a humorous movie would help reduce stress. She will bring her mother to enjoy the movie too. We exchanged hugs, and I am so happy to have met such a dedicated caregiver and friend.

Additionally, we are getting into contact with the local Area Agency on Aging and the local Alzheimer's Association, as well as resources at San Luis Seniors. As we progress with support more updates will be available.

Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregiving Offers "Lotsa Helping Hands"

At Lotsa Helping Hands, developed by The Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregiving, caregivers can create a free, easy to use website for volunteer caregiver helpers, schedules, updates for family and friends, messages, calenders and more. The Former First Lady Rosalynn Carter established the Institute, RCI, in 1987 on the campus of Georgia Southwestern State University. The mission of the RCI is to meet the challenges of the caregiver crisis in America.

The Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregiving website has a wealth of online resources to help caregivers.

Some of the topics covered at the website include :

• Development of quality care in home,community and long term care
• Common characteristics of effective caregiver programs
• Interventions to create desirable outcomes (such as reducing caregiver depression)