Guest Post from Life Coach Scott Couchenour - "Intentionally Blank"

Ever read a legal document and turn a page and all it has on the page is the phrase "This Space Left Intentionally Blank" centered on the page? I think I know why writers of legal documents do that. It got me thinking about caregiving.

What if, in the flow of caregiving, we were to designate certain times that are "intentionally blank"? These would be times when we unplug COMPLETELY from the world around us; times when we pull away from the caregiving and purposefully do nothing. If we do this we can greatly increase our capacity for perspective. We can re-energize. We can renew. Then, when the "blank time" is over, we can get back to the business of caregiving with a new sense of vision and excitement.

Are you doing this already? Great!

If you haven't considered "Intentionally Blank" times like this, start today. Think ahead. When is the next time you are going to unplug, pull away, and become intentionally blank?

From guest author, Scott Couchenour

Certified Life Coach

Founder of Serving Strong

©1997-2005 Openwave Systems Inc. All rights reserved.

Caregiving and Spiritual Issues

The comfort of knowing a caring God is surrounding us with love and light, and that earthly challenges can be seen from a perspective of eternal life, can provide strength to keep going when the most difficult times of our lives occur. No matter what your religious denomination, philosophy, or personal spiritual belief system, knowing there is a power of love, a spirit that cares and an energy that is like a power source lifts us up when we need it.

We'll never understand fully that which is beyond our human ability to grasp, but knowing we are filled and surrounded with the spirit of love and that we can see things from an eternal perspective changes everything.

Today in our world there is still much love and caring, much light and life.

When the difficulties of caregiving seem to be pulling one downward, it helps to remember the spiritual love that can fill and enfold us. As channels for the flow of this love, energy and caring, caregivers are indeed special people.

Inspirational Caregivers' Video for Relaxation and Uplifting Therapy

When Autumn paints the leaves and they are reflected in quiet rivers the beauty is doubly relaxing and uplifting, especially when paired with special music. Caregivers can take a therapy break and unwind while they watch this video. Enjoy and best wishes. Kristi

Caregiving and "The Ministry of Presence"

The "Ministry of Presence" is the way a spiritual teacher I know recently described our visit to a friend from church who is staying in a nursing home. The physical presence of a caring friend, a hug, a hand squeeze, some listening, some eye contact and a bit of conversation, can have a healing and comforting effect. Whether you are just sitting nearby, keeping a quiet vigil, or are sharing conversation, simply providing your presence is a way of ministering to others who are ill or injured. Our presence speaks for us, saying, "I care. You're not alone. I'm here for you. You're important to me."

Often people excuse themselves from visiting those who are ill by saying "I wouldn't know what to do or say." But, that's not important. The warmth of a genuinely caring person who simply arrives to provide his or her presence can bring an uplift to someone's day.

Brilliant conversation, exciting news, or special nursing skills are not needed to provide the healing benefits of your presence. Just being yourself and providing the "Ministry of Presence" by a gentle hug, a hand squeeze, some listening, some sharing and eye contact will make a difference. The isolation that people experience when they are ill or injured, or in frail health, is a form of suffering that is eased by a visit from someone who cares.If a relative or friend has cognitive impairment, as with dementia or Alzheimer's, the presence of a caring person who listens, establishes eye contact, and bonds is a healing presence.

Caregiving Video - "The Spinning Wheel"

"Landmark Transitions" Guest Post by Scott Couchenour

We read a lot about Work/Life Balance in articles these days. For some, it means a seamless transition from a work mindset to a life mindset, depending on what's appropriate at the time.

One way I accomplish this aspect of balance is by selecting a landmark on my commute home from work. On my way home, there is a bridge I cross over an interstate. This part of my commute is about 4 minutes from my doorstep. While on the bridge, I mentally close the door to work and begin thinking of my wife, my daughter in college, and my teenage son. I pick out something about each one of them (something they like, or fear, or are interested in) and dwell on that for the remainder of my commute (about 4 minutes or so). I try to EMPTY my mind of work-related stuff and FILL my mind with family.

Now, before I go any further, I must confess this is a struggle for me at times. I forget. If I'm not careful, I can bring work right into the house with me and my wife can see work smeared all over my face. But when I remember to transition, it does wonders for my family life.

This is possible to do, whether your commute is 5 minutes or an hour. If your work and life have the same location (in other words, if you are a caregiver to someone in your home), you may need to "create a commute" by taking a drive or walk outside and selecting a landmark to trigger your transition before you circle back home.

What's going to be your landmark? How are you going to use it to make a significant transition? Remember, a balanced life has a greater impact.

by Scott Couchenour, Certified Life Coach
Promoting Balance in People Helping
www.servingstrong.com
www.servingstrong.typepad.com

The Caregiver's Bandwidth - Guest Post by Scott Couchenor of ServingStrong.com

I was talking with a friend the other day. He was describing the difficulty in explaining computers to his mother. She has a dial up connection to the internet (very slow). But her idea is to buy a faster computer. My friend is trying to explain why that won't work.

Why won't a faster computer increase the speed of a dial up connection to the internet? Bandwidth. Bandwidth is like a roadway. The bandwidth on a dial up connection is like a narrow country road with the occasional one-lane bridge. In comparison, "high speed internet" (like cable, DSL, T1) is more like a 10-lane freeway. Now imagine thousands of cars trying to get to their destination. Imagine how much faster the traffic would flow on the freeway compared to the country road. That's bandwidth - the lines of connection from your computer to the internet, not the processor inside your computer.

Therefore, it doesn't matter how fast your processor is. If the information flowing from your computer to the internet is going over dial up lines, you will simply have to wait. Okay, so what does bandwidth have to do with serving others effectively?

Bandwidth and Self Care

Think of "bandwidth" as the capacity to serve with effectiveness and focus. Think of self care as the way to keep bandwidth like high speed. In other words, the better the self care, the greater the capacity to care for others. Let me explain...

Let's enter into the life of Fred (imaginary name). Fred is a cargiver. He does all the things that we normally imagine a caregiver to do. But Fred isn't feeling well. In fact, he's carried a virus for several weeks now. He has coughing fits that interrupt conversations. He is on a routine diet of Tylenol as he continuously battles headaches. Fred is distracted. He's listening to a person who is talking to him. At least he's trying to listen. But the headache and coughing are keeping him from focusing on the person's issues.

Fred's bandwidth (his capacity to be fully present) is like dial up. It's slow. His capacity to serve is small. His focus is almost non-existent. Fred needs to take care of himself. He needs to see a doctor to get the right medicine to put the headaches and coughing to rest. Without the headaches and coughing, Fred would be able to stay focused when he's caring for others.

How's YOUR bandwidth today? Are you investing in the routines you need to keep your capacity of service as high as it can be? Take care of yourself and you'll be Serving Strong!

By Scott Couchenour, Certified Life Coach, Guest Blogger
Promoting Balanced People Helpers
www.servingstrong.com
www.servingstrong.typepad.com

Video: Interview With Alzheimer's Caregiver Who Quit His Job to Care For His Father

In this video reporter Amita Sharma interviews Ric Gomez, who quit his job to take care of his father, who has Alzheimer's. Ric says he and his father have used this time to reconnect, share some laughs, and share other activities. For instance, in the video they enjoy a game of dominoes, and Ric says his dad is very good and frequently wins.

Guest Post from Scott Couchenour - Balancing Bad News With Positive

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF BAD NEWS

I am amazed at how much media airtime real estate is consumed by bad things that have happened. Recently I was listening to the radio in my car. Within a 30-second spot, I learned a baby was left on a doorstep (umbilical cord still wrapped around its neck), a man was sentenced to death for killing someone, the body of a woman was found in a lake - apparently raped and strangled, and two retired policemen were killed by a man as they worked for an armored car company while servicing an ATM.

What kind of impact is that having on us as we care for others? What is the psychological impact of bad news?

An article in the Harvard Business Review (October 2007) entitled "Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time" points to the importance of the emotions and quality of energy. The authors point out,

"Most people realize that they tend to perform best when they're feeling positive energy. Confronted with relentless demands and unexpected challenges, people tend to slip into negative emotions - the fight-or-flight mode - often multiple times in a day."

Listening constantly to bad news can diminish the impact of people who care for others. It enhances a low emotional state. It robs us of the kind of optimism described in the Stockdale Paradox (what Jim Collins speaks of in his book, Good to Great):

"Confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be AND at the same time, retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties."

News media is part of our existence. What are YOU doing to retain an appropriate emotional state as you care for others?

Try this: For every negative piece of news, come up with at least two positive things to keep balance. Try complimenting someone. List your blessings. Look for the good in someone. Think of a time when you accomplished something. Smile at a stranger.

I'm not talking about ignoring the woes of our fallen world. I'm talking about keeping perspective to be the best benefit to those who need us to be there for them.

By guest blogger: Scott Couchenour, Certified Life Coach
http://ssomail.charter.net/do/redirect?url=http%253A%252F%252Fwww.servingstrong.com%252F
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Scott A. Couchenour, Certified Life Coach
Coaching for Ministry Balance

"30 Days in a Wheelchair" on Hulu.com - Experiencing Life From a Different Perspective

Caregivers can understand the perspective of those who spend life in a wheelchair by watching "30 Days in a Wheelchair" on Hulu.com. NFL player Ray Crockett spends 30 days in a wheelchair, experiencing the adaptations needed for daily living. As he gets ready to start on the first day he is advised that he'll learn to have an appreciatiion for the frustration that is felt when someone spends so much time "looking at everyone's belt buckle" and he'll find that often people won't make eye contact because they are uncomfortable. The program focuses on spinal cord injuries but the insights about life using a wheelchair will apply for others as well.

Ray starts at the Baylor Rehabilitation Institute. He is advised that people will choose to make eye contact with his wife if she is standing nearby, often avoiding him, and they may act as if he is deaf and dumb. Our culture and society has to learn how to accept people who use a wheelchair.

When someone has to start using a wheelchair friends are lost as well as activities, because people feel uncomfortable or cannot adjust to being around the person who is now using a wheelchair.

One person said it is like waking up and thinking it was only a bad dream but finding it was real. However, as one of the counselors said, life does go on and one struggles to adapt because there is no other way.

Ray's car is fitted with hand and arm controls since he cannot use his legs while he is in the "30 days" project, and his house is adapted for disability. He find that there are a lot more stairs, steep slopes and narrow doorways than he thought.

He spends part of his time at the Rehabilitation Institute with spinal cord injury patients and groups for therapy. One of the volunteer counselor's shows him how to get around and speaks openly about what it is like. He participates in "wheelchair rugby" and this is like football in wheelchairs - it's a rough sport.

After 30 days when Ray returns to walking he has made some special friends and learned from them and from his experience what life is like for those who use a wheelchair.

Caregivers can understand the frustrations felt by wheelchair users better after they see this video. Better yet, try using a wheelchair for awhile in order to experience life from a different perspective, like NFL player Ray Crockett did.

A Caregiver's Memories - Video in Memory of My Father - Father's Day at the Pismo Beach Pier, San Luis Obispo County, CA

My father, Jack H. Terry, Sr., passed away 13 years ago from a stroke, but on Father's Day I do something special in his memory and this year I made a video of scenes at the ocean. He always loved water and boats - lakes, rivers, oceans. He would have loved the sandcastles, kites and other scenes in this video made at the Pismo Beach Pier, San Luis Obispo County, California. When I am near the ocean I remember the wonderful times we spent together at lakes or beaches.

RE: Nursing Home Reform Amendments of OBRA, Residents "Know Your Rights, " Guest Post by Matt Raven

“Know your rights” is important for residents of nursing homes. The Nursing Home Reform Amendments of OBRA were implemented in early 1987. According to the for the people website, the act mandated that nursing homes “promote and protect the rights of each resident.”

The law aims at doing a number of things, but here are the general rights of residents:

1) Right to Self-Determination

Residents have the right to:
-select their own doctor.
-have access and involvement in all medical decisions.
-receive personalized services at the facility based on individual requirements.

2) Personal and Privacy Rights

Residents have the right to:
-partake in social, religious, and community events as they see fit.
-confidentiality of personal and medical documents.

3) Rights Regarding Abuse and Restraints

Residents have the right to:
- be liberated of any physical or psychological maltreatment, corporal punishment, solitary confinement, or use of restraints as punishment.
- be restrained under a doctor’s strict orders for the purpose of treating medical symptoms and guaranteeing the resident’s safety while protecting others.

4) Rights to Information

Nursing homes are obligated to:
-Provide, upon request, residents with up-to-date inspection results and any measures the facility plans to take to improve existing conditions.
-Advise residents ahead of time about any preparation to alter their rooms or swap roommates.
-Notify residents of their rights when they initially move in to the nursing home, providing them with a written version of the rights.
-Discuss how to take advantage of Medicaid benefits with residents.

5) Rights to Visits

Nursing homes are obligated to:
- To allow urgent visits by a resident’s primary care physician in addition to representatives from the licensing agency and ombudsman program.
- To allow urgent visits by a resident’s family providing the resident gives permission.

6) Rights of Transfer and Discharge

Nursing homes may not transfer or discharge residents unless:
- The transfer or discharge is essential for the well-being of the resident, and the current facility is incapable of providing that level of care.
- The health and security of fellow residents is compromised.
- The resident’s general health has reached a point that they no longer require the extent of care that a nursing home can offer.

7) Protection of Personal Funds

A nursing home must never force residents to let the facility hold their money.

8) Protection Against Medicaid Discrimination

A nursing home must:
- Implement and abide by policies identical to other nursing homes in terms of transfer, discharge, and how services covered by Medicaid will be provided.
- Not force residents to surrender their right to Medicaid coverage and must provide information relevant to the Medicaid application process.

These basic rights should be implemented in every nursing home nation wide. If you have an experience where you feel like your rights have been abridged in a nursing home situation, please contact a personal injury lawyer who is experienced in the field.